As I waited for my ADD meds to kick in this morning I read through my blogroll. I came across Pete Wilson’s post about a pastor, Brad Johnson, who left the ministry as a result of having an affair.
As I read Pete’s post and then read more on Brad’s blog, I felt two emotions. First, my heart broke for Brad, his ex-wife, their family, the other woman and her family and his former church. All of us deal with sin.. all of us. I hate what sin does. I hate how we forget grace or, even worse, put conditions on how we extend grace. That’s not what Jesus did. He loves us without any prerequisites.
The second emotion that overwhelmed me came when I realized that none of us, including me, are immune to completely destroying our own lives. It is hard to not become completely overtaken with fear that this would happen to me. Second only to my salvation are my wife and boys. It would devastate me to know that I let them down.
So, what should we take away from this?
- Stay close to God. I am not in His presence to get my next sermon. I read His Word and seek Him because I need God for me. What I preach and how I lead come out of the overflow of my relationship with Him. Without a real relationship with God, we are all destined to mess everything up.
- Be really accountable. I’m not talking about the superficial, convenient, feel good accountability. Just about every minute of my life is accounted for. My wife knows where I am at, who I am with, where I am going next, what we are talking about, where I go on my computer, what I read and what I struggle with. When I leave the office, I call her phone. If my plans change, she is the first to know. I don’t ride in a car, have lunch with or do any significant counseling alone with a woman. I am an owned man and it is by choice. If you think you are strong enough to go it alone, you are a fool.
- Cultivate relationships that matter. I’m not talking about surface acquaintances. Jennifer and I are always working on our marriage. She is my wife, friend, lover, mistress, guardian, confidant and companion all rolled into one. I have other relationships with people that know nothing is off limits to them. They can without warning, look through my computer. They can look at my schedule. They can question me about any area of my life.
- Put down your rocks. I am a sinner. I did not write that I was a sinner. I am a sinner and so are you. So, when you see somebody destroying their life don’t throw more rocks at them. Instead, pray with them and for them. Love them. If they lash out at you, love them anyway. Grace is love, mercy and favor that are undeserved. Who do you know that has messed up their life? They probably feel like a leper. Why don’t you pick up the phone and invite them into your life.
- Pray, Pray, Pray, Pray. You can’t do this one too much. Do you want to know what God has to say to you? Then pray. When you pray, stop talking so much and listen. God wants to talk to you if you will just listen.
God, please don’t let me destroy my life, family, ministry and destiny. Yank my chain long before I mess it all up. My life is yours. When temptation comes, open my eyes to see it for what it is. Give me the wisdom and determination to stay far from the traps laid for me. Give me Your heart of compassion for the broken around me.
Amen to that! My husband and I funtion in the same way. There is nothing, I mean nothing we don’t let each other in on. We know each others struggles, pasts, and everything about our present. It’s the only way to keep ourselves protected from “the hidden sins”. They love to sneak in when you think no one is watching, or that no one cares. I think that’s how the devil loves to rob God’s children of the anointing in their lives, is through the hidden sins.
Unfortunately, some churches and Christians have made it difficult, if not impossible for those that are struggling to get good, sound, Goldy counsel and wisdom, and just be able to be totally open before a fellow brother or sister in Christ about their struggle in order to get help before they actually go completely under. And thus, they go under. And then get beat over the head and completely shamed when it happens. Not ever noticing that that person was crying out to them for help long before. I’ve seen it happen and it is sad.
We must as God’s people make it our business to be the understanding, merciful, wise ear to those who are stuggling. We must also make it a priority to hold ourselves accountable to those around us lest we ourselves fall. The first step in lessening the possibilities of falling and destroying our own destiny is exactly what you stated. Realizing that it could happen to anyone, even us. We are in the most danger when we think we have spiritually risen above “the big sins.” (Not that there is actually such a thing. But you know what I mean. )”Big sins” always start out small. They grow without us even realizing it if we are not on alert at all times.
I never want to be quick to shake my head in dissapointment at leaders that fall, because like you, it serves as a sobering reminder that it could be me.
Great post. We all need to be reminded once in a while. Thanks!
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